A little of the night

There was a time I wrote a lot. Not because I had a calling, not even because I had a flair. In retrospect, it was perhaps a self-fulfilling prophesy that circled around my gift, or perhaps, my curse of being born with too much in the department of emotions.

Even from a very tender age, I have always seem to be feeling a lot stronger towards any and every thing. My awkwardness at dealing with these overloads of emotions oftentimes resulted in either catastrophic outburst of anger or embarrassing barrage of tears, making me a very unpopular boy amongst friends and family. My tumultuous ride of feelings carried me into my teens, crescendoed in my first encounter with love, or what I thought was love.

Maybe it was God's Design, that in the darkest moments, utterly lost in the maze of a raging thunderstorm of emotions, I found my release in writing. Even though my grasp of the language did not offer the entire spectrum of expressive arsenal sufficient to do justice to the depth of my emotional turmoil, I was able to get to the point with the simple words...simple words that resonates with the song of my heart...

The fundamental theme that transcended my words, throughout all my works, was simply a love unrequited...questions unanswered and a future unbeknownst. For a man obsessed with the incessant search for the ideal love, I was never more lost. It was a time I started sleeping late, seeking solace in the blanket of darkness that night offered. In the darkness, the world around me suddenly disappeared, shrinking into the point where there was only me, my thoughts and the sentimental number that filled the empty void with a warmth that was only mine. As the melodic waves soothed the frayed ends of my raw nerves, my words would gush forth, bringing with it a little part of my heart...

* * * * *

"...You don't know...I love you..."

The last verse was sang out amongst the backdrop of a melacholic sax...and all I can see in my mind's eye is the heartbreak on her face...

It was times like this I feel like thanking my Creator, for filling my heart and the heats of all with the one thing that make us all human...